I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
