I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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