I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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