I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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