I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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