1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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