question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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