I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
