Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
