just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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