Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
