So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
