Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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