I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
