Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize