So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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