I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
