Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
