please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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