Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize