ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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