How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
