I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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