i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
