hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize