Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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