we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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