I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
