Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's like God shit irony all over that family
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
