Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
