i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just want to make out with him forever
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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