Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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