isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
