I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
