laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
