as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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