my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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