and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
