I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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