Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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