They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
