Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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