you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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