That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
