I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
