Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
