Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
