They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
