We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
