It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
