So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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