I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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