Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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