do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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