His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
