marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize