All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize