just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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