help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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