Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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