FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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