i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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