i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
